Sometimes I become one with my surroundings. I feel the borders between my body and my surroundings disappearing–leaving me with nothing but a sensation of oneness. The feeling is in many ways comforting and delightful; it is an experience of being at home in the world. Of being present. Of being alive. It contains momentarily understanding of connections between life phases, people, objects… and it brings me back in time and grounds me in the present simultaneously. But the feeling also contains dark notes, shadows, fear. Of what, I am not exactly sure. All I know is that the fear only appears when I try to grasp the oneness with my mind, with my reason. As long as I rest in the bodily understanding of my surroundings, I feel nothing but sensuous delight.
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